It's Like a Movie, This Life Is.

   Ever seen one of those movies where the kid goes to live with the grandparent for whatever reason? And they live in the little town where everyone knows everyone, and if they don't, they know someone who knows whoever they don't know...Well, I live that life.
  My Grandma is 95 - or almost 95, or almost 96...once you're to that age, one year doesn't make as much difference. Anyway, my family asked me to come live with her for a few weeks last year when she hurt herself. After a couple weeks, they wanted to know if I would just live with her always. Permanently.
  Sure. I was 18 and halfway through cosmetology school. I had taken a leave to stay with her those few weeks. So I started school back up and put in less hours than I had been before so I could help her out.
  My life fell into a sort of routine. Get up by seven, out the door by 8:10, school at nine, lunch at noon, leave at 3:30, home by 4:30, help make dinner, do dishes, take a walk, watch Grandma's nightly shows, jeopardy and wheel of fortune - or barely hear it while talking to friends on Facebook - and in bed by (hehe) 11:15. Ha. I would try, at least.
  Sounds pretty idyllic. It kinda was.
  (This is where the likeness to the movies ends. A movie couldn't keep all this together in one story without being reviewed as too busy, too confusing, etc.)
  So, throw in there the REST of my life. Like having two sets of parents, one being adoptive parents, the other a biological mother I was reunited with in January. Throw in my biological mom getting married in the summer. My sister, also my best friend, getting married. Trying to split my time between the two families. 3 separate households, My mom and dad's (adopted), my mama's (biological), and my Grandma's.
  Going to school, spending time with Mom and Dad and sisters, spending time with Mama, spending time helping Grandma, going to school, preparing for two weddings, turning 19, squeezing in friend time, taking harp lessons, giving piano lessons...oh, and getting in big trouble at school for confronting an issue and people being really mad at me for it. And my other grandma dying.
  There goes the idyllic.
  Does it sound like I'm complaining? I'm not. Have I complained? Yes.
  There have been times that I felt like I couldn't do it all anymore. But then there are times, like this summer, when I went walking through the tiny little town I live in, and listen to birds sing and look at a sparkling lake and walk by the old mansion I've loved since I was little, when everything seemed calm and unchanging and peaceful.
   Now, my schedule is clearer. I graduated. I'm looking for a job. I have time on my hands that I don't really want.
   Looking back at this past year...I know what I could have changed. And it wouldn't have been moving in with Grandma, or meeting my biological mom, or spending time with family, or going to school, or anything else that made me feel so stressed out.
  The one thing I would change would be to trust God more. I did get through it, and sometimes I truly didn't think I could. I almost changed schools to avoid the stress. I went through rough times - but if I had trusted Him more and let my heart be at rest in Him, maybe it wouldn't have been easier, but I would have had more peace. I exhausted myself with worrying and trying to handle everything to the point where my family was worried about me...

  God took care of me anyway. But I'm putting the trusting thing into practice now. I don't have a job, and I have no idea when I will get one or what job it will be. I'm not going to worry though. I don't want to repeat the last 10 months worth of worrying and being stressed constantly, needlessly. Since God is right here, wanting to help me, I'm taking Him up on His offer to bear my burdens for me.
  So...I'm living with my Grandma, in a tiny little town, where everyone knows everyone. I have a God who loves me and is going to take care of me. What else could I ask for.
   It is like a movie, this life is. It's like a movie with a happily-ever-after ending.